Ally Wangle and the Humpergees



Ally Wangle was a girl who lived just down the street.
She was skinny as a rake, but had a massive pair of feet,
And on her head there was a growth of strangely bouncy hair –
It looked a bit peculiar, but Ally didn’t care.

For in this crazy tangle was a hairy little house
In which there lived a Humpergee, his children and his spouse.
They had a hairy bathroom and a hairy kitchen table,
Hairy cups and saucers and a hairy pet called Mabel.

When Ally Wangle clomped to school the Humpergees would sing;
They sounded like an orchestra inside a ball of string,
And when she was in class, they’d whisper ‘naughties’ in her ears,
Which she’d afterwards repeat to both her teachers and her piers.

Then, one day, in class she got in huge amounts of trouble;
She said some things in Maths that caused her teacher’s eyes to bubble.
He smacked her on the hand and when her eyes began to water,
Daddy Humpergee yelled out, “How dare you touch our daughter!?”

And all at once, the Humpergees flung open Ally’s hair,
And launched themselves upon the man, who shrieked out in despair.
They fastened to his earlobes with pointy sets of teeth.
Mabel got the teacher’s nose and dangled underneath.

He ran around the classroom squealing out his twelve times table,
And every time he stopped he got a nasty nip from Mabel.
Finally he ended up collapsed in front of Ally –
He looked a little shaken and a little bit doolally.

“Now, get up off the floor young man,” called Daddy Humpergee.
“We think you ought to give our girl your best apology,”
Then Ally Wangle clapped, and all the Humpergees were gone
From the face of Mr. Flick, whose day had gone completely wrong.

So that was how it happened in our school that afternoon.
So if in class you ever hear a funny little tune,
It might not come from boy or girl. It might not come from teacher:
It might just come from someone’s head, where dwells a hairy creature.

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